My grandfather once told me life’s most important lessons can be learned in ways we can’t expect; personally I thought he was kidding because he’s never the philosophical type, I was wrong. One of the first lessons I learned was to always expect the unexpected, because one visit to my grandparent’s home almost lead to the police arresting me. Now, before I tell you the story, I ask that you have some sympathy for my poor family members that contributed to the mess you’re about to read, and I hope you enjoy it.
April 12th, 2016, Easter, a bright-sunny day filled with painted eggs, screaming kids, long church sermons and too much traffic. My Sundays always followed a strict family-built schedule, at 9am we go to Church and listen to the pastor while singing songs and sitting on the uncomfortable chairs, at 12pm we go to Nana’s for lunch, she always cooked three times as much food as normal during holidays, mostly consisting of ham, corn, and cornbread, after everyone finishes eating they sit around and talk about their jobs and other boring things adults do that I didn’t care about at the time. One thing to note about holidays other than the excess amount of food we were given, was other family members joining us for lunch. Nana’s house is pretty small, the table normally only fits 6, Mom, Dad, Grandma, Granddad, Nana, and my aunt Alexandra; but during the holidays my uncle Anthony popped down from Tennessee to say hello.
Anthony is one of my favorite uncles, (he’s tied for 1st place with my uncle Johnny who gives me free ice cream from his shop downtown), he has a fancy job for Belk and gives some of the best birthday/Christmas presents to everyone. During the rare opportunities that I got to see him back then before he moved back, and seeing as I was a spoiled brat, I always tried to play “The Favorite” card, as my mother had recently had my sister and my brother was on his way I had to act quickly, before those two sucked up all his “good present money”. I offered to stay with him for the rest of the day to catch up with him and see how he was, this was my first mistake. My second mistake was following through with my promise, he had originally planned on visiting my house, but decided to go to my grandparents first. My parents were fine with it, but I had not told my grandparents because I thought they had heard me when speaking to Anthony at the table, that was the third mistake.
My grandparents car was filled with supplies from the Easter Party the youth group at our church was planning, (basket filler, face paint, paintbrushes, those disgusting marshmallows shaped like ducks for some reason, etc.), so I decided to ride with Anthony, we chatted about his job and his exciting news about getting engaged on the way through the god-awful traffic. He told me he wanted to speak to my grandparents on the porch about some of the wedding details in private, so I waited in the study to play games on their ancient computer. My fifth and final mistake was the most simple, I went to the kitchen to get a Diet Pepsi. I’m imagining you’re asking, “How is that a mistake?”, the reason I count it as a mistake is because if I had waited just a second more to get that tasty, sugary, unhealthy drink, then I would have no need to tell this story as it would probably not have happened. This next part is the story I heard straight from my grandparents; as I went back towards the study, the three stooges outside were about to come back in through the windowed porch door, with my grandfather leading them inside. My grandparents had no clue that I was with Anthony, and Anthony’s excitement about his wedding made him forget I was with him, (at least that’s the excuse he gave me anyways). The door to the study was on the south side of the house, opposite from the kitchen on the north, between them was an open foyer with a staircase to the second floor, to get between them you have to pass through that foyer. So, as I shut the hefty door to the study behind me, my grandfather saw me cross as he was about to go through the doors, the problem was that he didn’t recognize who I was in the split-second I was visible.
My grandfather stopped abruptly and forced them back off of the porch and into the backyard, worryingly telling them that a robber had snuck into their house! Impetuously, Anthony gave his cell phone to my grandfather, who then quickly dialed the police and told the police about the “mysterious figure” in their home. “Larry, Curly, and Moe” decided it would be best to arm themselves with an assortment of weapons from the garage: a hammer, a broken shovel handle, and a stick of bamboo should the robber attack them; meanwhile I was inside enjoying my Diet Pepsi and beating up virtual bad guys on some ugly 16-bit flash game. After 2 minutes of suspense, Anthony had a sudden realization: I was in the house, as soon as he told my grandparents they went from fearful, to straight-on panic. Their panic attacks sounded a little something like:
Anthony: “Oh no! Gannon’s inside the house with the robber!”
Grandad: “Huh?!”
Grandma: “Oh my God! Gannon was with you?!”
The words she uttered hit my grandmother with the truth. She took the phone from my grandfather, “Ma’am,”, she told the operator, “you’re not gonna believe this.”.
It wasn’t until after the police officers came in and asked me some questions that I knew what happened. The three police cars that were sent had flown past the house towards a dead end on the other side of the neighborhood, my grandparents managed to catch them before they entered and explain their mistake, needless to say they had never been so embarrassed. I was perplexed when I turned around to see my grandparents and uncle accompanied by cops staring at me from the study’s doorway; but, now I can look back and laugh at that moment at their expense as my mother tells it to people every Thanksgiving and Easter. It just goes to show that you should always expect the unexpected because anything can happen, even during a nice visit to your grandparents house.
April 12th, 2016, Easter, a bright-sunny day filled with painted eggs, screaming kids, long church sermons and too much traffic. My Sundays always followed a strict family-built schedule, at 9am we go to Church and listen to the pastor while singing songs and sitting on the uncomfortable chairs, at 12pm we go to Nana’s for lunch, she always cooked three times as much food as normal during holidays, mostly consisting of ham, corn, and cornbread, after everyone finishes eating they sit around and talk about their jobs and other boring things adults do that I didn’t care about at the time. One thing to note about holidays other than the excess amount of food we were given, was other family members joining us for lunch. Nana’s house is pretty small, the table normally only fits 6, Mom, Dad, Grandma, Granddad, Nana, and my aunt Alexandra; but during the holidays my uncle Anthony popped down from Tennessee to say hello.
Anthony is one of my favorite uncles, (he’s tied for 1st place with my uncle Johnny who gives me free ice cream from his shop downtown), he has a fancy job for Belk and gives some of the best birthday/Christmas presents to everyone. During the rare opportunities that I got to see him back then before he moved back, and seeing as I was a spoiled brat, I always tried to play “The Favorite” card, as my mother had recently had my sister and my brother was on his way I had to act quickly, before those two sucked up all his “good present money”. I offered to stay with him for the rest of the day to catch up with him and see how he was, this was my first mistake. My second mistake was following through with my promise, he had originally planned on visiting my house, but decided to go to my grandparents first. My parents were fine with it, but I had not told my grandparents because I thought they had heard me when speaking to Anthony at the table, that was the third mistake.
My grandparents car was filled with supplies from the Easter Party the youth group at our church was planning, (basket filler, face paint, paintbrushes, those disgusting marshmallows shaped like ducks for some reason, etc.), so I decided to ride with Anthony, we chatted about his job and his exciting news about getting engaged on the way through the god-awful traffic. He told me he wanted to speak to my grandparents on the porch about some of the wedding details in private, so I waited in the study to play games on their ancient computer. My fifth and final mistake was the most simple, I went to the kitchen to get a Diet Pepsi. I’m imagining you’re asking, “How is that a mistake?”, the reason I count it as a mistake is because if I had waited just a second more to get that tasty, sugary, unhealthy drink, then I would have no need to tell this story as it would probably not have happened. This next part is the story I heard straight from my grandparents; as I went back towards the study, the three stooges outside were about to come back in through the windowed porch door, with my grandfather leading them inside. My grandparents had no clue that I was with Anthony, and Anthony’s excitement about his wedding made him forget I was with him, (at least that’s the excuse he gave me anyways). The door to the study was on the south side of the house, opposite from the kitchen on the north, between them was an open foyer with a staircase to the second floor, to get between them you have to pass through that foyer. So, as I shut the hefty door to the study behind me, my grandfather saw me cross as he was about to go through the doors, the problem was that he didn’t recognize who I was in the split-second I was visible.
My grandfather stopped abruptly and forced them back off of the porch and into the backyard, worryingly telling them that a robber had snuck into their house! Impetuously, Anthony gave his cell phone to my grandfather, who then quickly dialed the police and told the police about the “mysterious figure” in their home. “Larry, Curly, and Moe” decided it would be best to arm themselves with an assortment of weapons from the garage: a hammer, a broken shovel handle, and a stick of bamboo should the robber attack them; meanwhile I was inside enjoying my Diet Pepsi and beating up virtual bad guys on some ugly 16-bit flash game. After 2 minutes of suspense, Anthony had a sudden realization: I was in the house, as soon as he told my grandparents they went from fearful, to straight-on panic. Their panic attacks sounded a little something like:
Anthony: “Oh no! Gannon’s inside the house with the robber!”
Grandad: “Huh?!”
Grandma: “Oh my God! Gannon was with you?!”
The words she uttered hit my grandmother with the truth. She took the phone from my grandfather, “Ma’am,”, she told the operator, “you’re not gonna believe this.”.
It wasn’t until after the police officers came in and asked me some questions that I knew what happened. The three police cars that were sent had flown past the house towards a dead end on the other side of the neighborhood, my grandparents managed to catch them before they entered and explain their mistake, needless to say they had never been so embarrassed. I was perplexed when I turned around to see my grandparents and uncle accompanied by cops staring at me from the study’s doorway; but, now I can look back and laugh at that moment at their expense as my mother tells it to people every Thanksgiving and Easter. It just goes to show that you should always expect the unexpected because anything can happen, even during a nice visit to your grandparents house.
Reflection
This Personal Narrative is a story about how dumb my family can be. Nothing very interesting has happened to me in my life, so this is the only, albeit slightly embarrassing, story I can think of telling. We were required to tell any story from our lives and have others judge them for their ability to convey our feelings during said story. The use of imagery, pathos, logos, ethos, and kairos was essential for the reader's immersion in this assignment. The other requirement was a lesson or goal to be completed by the end of the story, mine was a mix of the age-old expression, "Expect the unexpected." and the purpose of entertaining others with how dumb people can be.